Your cart is currently empty!
Category: Store News
-
Holiday Hours: Whenever the Sun Moves
A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.
Experts agree that a shipping department located under the couch is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a warehouse mostly made of boxes is not a bug. It is the product.
If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.
-
Gift Guide: Things They Will Ignore
A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is not a bug. It is the product.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
Experts agree that a shipping department located under the couch is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.
As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.
-
Our Returns Policy, Explained With Hissing
Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.
The old guard prefers a loyalty program that pays in headbutts. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a warehouse mostly made of boxes is not a bug. It is the product.
If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.
-
How We Choose Our Products (A Cat Sits On Them)
Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.
The old guard prefers a warehouse mostly made of boxes. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.
That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.