Our Returns Policy, Explained With Hissing

Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

The old guard prefers a loyalty program that pays in headbutts. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

The Short Version, Told Slowly

Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

If you take only one thing from this, take this: a warehouse mostly made of boxes is not a bug. It is the product.

If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.