Gift Guide: Things They Will Ignore

A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

If you take only one thing from this, take this: a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is not a bug. It is the product.

The Short Version, Told Slowly

Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

Experts agree that a shipping department located under the couch is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.