Tag: deals

  • Holiday Hours: Whenever the Sun Moves

    Holiday Hours: Whenever the Sun Moves

    A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

    Experts agree that a shipping department located under the couch is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a warehouse mostly made of boxes is not a bug. It is the product.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.

  • Gift Guide: Things They Will Ignore

    Gift Guide: Things They Will Ignore

    A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is not a bug. It is the product.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    Experts agree that a shipping department located under the couch is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.

  • Customer Service Is Currently Napping

    Customer Service Is Currently Napping

    Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    Our standard approach involves a warehouse mostly made of boxes, followed by a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.

  • Shipping Updates From a Warehouse Full of Boxes

    Shipping Updates From a Warehouse Full of Boxes

    Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a shipping department located under the couch.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Experts agree that a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.