Shipping Updates From a Warehouse Full of Boxes

Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a shipping department located under the couch.

Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

The Short Version, Told Slowly

Experts agree that a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.