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Tag: shipping
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Why Everything We Sell Ends Up on the Floor
We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.
Our standard approach involves a warehouse mostly made of boxes, followed by a shipping department located under the couch, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a returns policy enforced by staring is not a bug. It is the product.
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.
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Our Returns Policy, Explained With Hissing
Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.
The old guard prefers a loyalty program that pays in headbutts. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a warehouse mostly made of boxes is not a bug. It is the product.
If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.
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Customer Service Is Currently Napping
Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.
Our standard approach involves a warehouse mostly made of boxes, followed by a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.
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How We Choose Our Products (A Cat Sits On Them)
Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.
The old guard prefers a warehouse mostly made of boxes. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.
That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.