Announcing Our Loyalty Program (Treats Required)

Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a shipping department located under the couch.

If you take only one thing from this, take this: a returns policy enforced by staring is not a bug. It is the product.

The Short Version, Told Slowly

Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.